A guy with two black eyes walks into the bar.
and the barkeep says "Wow John how did get two black eyes?"
John-"Saw this lady walking down the street with her dress stuck the crack of her ass, so I reach over and pulled it out and ka-blam she hits me!"
Bartender-"that counts for one eye, how did you get the other"
John-"well I figured since she didn't want it out I pushed it back in"