Two buddies are at a bar, talking about their problems. "I haven't sold one tractor all month," a tractor salesman tells his friend.

"That's nothing compared to my problem," his buddy replies.

"I was milking my cow when its tail whips around and hits me in the forehead, so I grabbed some string and tied its tail up to the rafters.

Then I go back to milk it and it kicks me in the head with its right hind leg, so I grab some rope and tie its one leg up to the rafters. I go back to try and milk it again when it kicks me in the head with its left hind leg, so I tie its other leg up to the rafters.

Then my wife comes walking in and I'll tell ya, if you can convince her that I was trying to milk that cow, I'll buy a tractor off ya."