Top 10 Reasons folks will vote for Obama:

10. The guy in the van gave me $10 and free Pizza.

9. Because I want to see my personal wealth drop another 5 grand.

8. A morbid curiosity for what "more flexibility" actually means

7. I'm not emotionally ready to leave my parent's basement.

6. 4 words: More Biden Gaffes

5. Endorsements from Putin, Castro, Chavez and Ahmadinejad can't be wrong!

4. I'll need help with my NCAA brackets in March.

3. Because that "losing your virginity" ad really spoke to me.

2. I didn't but the voting machine said I did.

1. I want to see what comes after trillions