Two old ladies, Martha and Eloisa are outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it starts to rain. Martha pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette and continues smoking.
Eloisa asks ‘What's that?’
Martha says ‘It’s a condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.’
Eloisa asks ‘Where did you get that?’
Martha replies ‘You can get them at any drugstore.’
The next day, Eloisa hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
Eloisa says ‘Doesn’t matter sonny, as long as it fits a camel.’