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Need A Laugh
Posted On: 02/17/2014 7:35:13 PM
Post# of 3036
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Posted By: acc724
police
*These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual

police car videos around the country:* 

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through." 

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while." 

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." 

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." 

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the 
bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT) 

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want 
to on the ticket, huh?" (MY FAVORITE) 

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention 
that I'm the shift supervisor?" 

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you 
another ticket." 

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey 
Mouse a cat or a dog?" 

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton 
candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop." 

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." 
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."(National Crime Information Center). 


13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?" 

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many 
tickets as we can." 

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone 
who can post your bail." 

AND THE WINNER IS.... 
16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't...Sign here." 













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