> DO YOU KNOW THE FRONT FROM THE BACK OF A
> TREE?

> A
> REDNECK FROM GEORGIA DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE
> SOUTH TO VIRGINIA TO
> SEE GOD'S COUNTRY.

> WHEN
> HE GETS TO FRANKLIN , HE LIKES THE PLACE SO MUCH
> THAT HE DECIDES
> TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A
> JOB!
>
>
> HE
> WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE
> AND FILLS OUT AN
> APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED LOG
> INSPECTOR. IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!!
> THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE
> LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT FIRST, THE LOG
> FOREMAN TAKES
> HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE FOREST IN THE COMPANY PICKUP
>
> TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH HE
> KNOWS.
>
>
> THE
> FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD
> AND POINTS AT A TREE
> 'SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT
> YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SPECIES IT
> IS AND HOW MANY BOARD
> FEET OF LUMBER IT
> CONTAINS.'
>
>
> THE
> REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, 'THAT THAR'S A WHITE
> PINE,
> 383 BOARD
> FEET OF LUMBER IN
> 'ER.'
>
>
> THE
> FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED! HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION
> AND STOPS ABOUT
> A MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS AT
> ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE
> PASSENGER WINDOW AND ASKS
> THE SAME QUESTION. THIS TIME, IT'S A
> BIGGER TREE OF A
> DIFFERENT CLASS.
>
>
> 'THAT'S
> A LOB LOLLY PINE AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR
> BOARD
> FEET.'
>
>
> THE
> FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY,
> HE HAS BEEN QUICK AND
> GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT
> USING A
> CALCULATOR!
>
>
> ONE
> MORE TEST. THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE
> ROAD, AND THE
> FOREMAN STOPS AGAIN. THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE
> ROAD THROUGH HIS
> DRIVER SIDE WINDOW AND
> SAYS, 'AND WHAT ABOUT THAT
> ONE?'
>
>
> BEFORE
> THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, THE REDNECK SAYS,
> 'WHITE OAK, 242 BOARD FEET

> THE
> FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO
> THE OFFICE A LITTLE
> TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS THE RED
> NECK IS SMARTER THAN HE
> IS.
> AS THEY NEAR THE OFFICE, THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK
>
> AND ASKS BUBBA TO STEP OUTSIDE.

> HE
> HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM, 'SEE THAT
> TREE OVER THERE?' 'I
> WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT
> TREE!'

> THE
> FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, 'IDIOT, HOW THE HELL
> WOULD
> HE KNOW WHICH IS
> THE FRONT OF THE
> TREE?'

> WHEN
> BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT IN A CIRCLE
> WHILE LOOKING AT THE
> GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES
> A WHITE X ON THE
> TRUNK.

> HE
> WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM THE CHALK.
> 'THAT THAR'S THE
> FRONT,' THE REDNECK SAYS.

> THE
> FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS SARCASTICALLY,
> 'HOW
> IN THE HELL
> DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE
> TREE?'

> THE
> GOOD OL' BOY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE RUBBING
> THE
> TOE OF HIS
> LEFT BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND REPLIES,
> 'CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK A
> SHIT BEHIND IT.

> HE
> GOT THE JOB AND IS NOW THE FOREMAN!