Posted On: 11/25/2013 5:39:05 PM
Post# of 3036
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WHAT TURKEYS NEED TO KNOW BUT DON'T
1. By limiting your corn intake to 175 kernels a day, you can lose thirteen pounds or three hours baking time, whatever the case may be.
2. There is no such thing as the friendly ax-man.
3. Hiding inside old Jack-O-Lanterns never works.
4. Running helps you lose weight, but you will never fly, ever.
5. Stop writing to Benjamin Franklin; he's dead, and you lost that National symbol argument long ago.
6. No one buys the "you can't eat a turkey with glasses routine."
7. If anyone asks you about your drumstick size, be afraid; be very afraid.
8. Sweet corn meal is NOT low in calories. Stop eating it.
9. Pretending to be "just a chicken" is not very smart.
10. If there are not pigs or geese on your farm, you should probably worry about Christmas as well.
on the farm
1. By limiting your corn intake to 175 kernels a day, you can lose thirteen pounds or three hours baking time, whatever the case may be.
2. There is no such thing as the friendly ax-man.
3. Hiding inside old Jack-O-Lanterns never works.
4. Running helps you lose weight, but you will never fly, ever.
5. Stop writing to Benjamin Franklin; he's dead, and you lost that National symbol argument long ago.
6. No one buys the "you can't eat a turkey with glasses routine."
7. If anyone asks you about your drumstick size, be afraid; be very afraid.
8. Sweet corn meal is NOT low in calories. Stop eating it.
9. Pretending to be "just a chicken" is not very smart.
10. If there are not pigs or geese on your farm, you should probably worry about Christmas as well.
on the farm
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