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Blonde Men Jokes
> A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
> The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
>
> Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
> One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
> The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
>
>
> A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said:
> "Close your curtains the next time you & your wife are in the bedroom.
> The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
> To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because
> I wasn't even at home yesterday."
>
>
> A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
> He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
>
> A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
> "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
> The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me".
> The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".
>
> A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
> It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".
> He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
>
> A blond man shouts frantically into the phone
> "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
> "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
> "No", he shouts, "this is her husband!"
>
> A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk.
> Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
> A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
> The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
>
> A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.
> His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
> He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
> "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
> "Here boy!" he replies.
>
> A blond man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
> "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
> "Hanging myself," the blond replies.
> "It should be around your neck" says the guard.
> "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe".
>
> (This one actually makes sense...)
> An Italian tourist asks a blonde man:
> "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
> To which the blonde man replies:
> "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
>
>
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