Australian Helpline Operator Helpline Operator: "G'day mate!  VB Helpline here.  What's the problem?" Aussie Caller: "I'm in the Outback with the girlfriend and she's been stung on her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely closed up!" Helpline Operator: "Bummer!" Aussie Caller: "Great advice!  Thanks mate! Bye and G'Day.''